Moss Lawn Foiled By Fungus

It's been raining here non-stop for days. When I finally got outside to start planting moss, I noticed a large patch of white mushrooms growing on the maple tree.

Since I love wild mushrooms more than a normal person should, I got all excited. I was imagining a seasonal supply of succulent mushrooms to be had for free....simply by walking out the front door.

My favorite farmer, whom mom and I lovingly nicknamed Mother Nature, not only raises one hell of a duck, she's been hunting mushrooms for decades. Wild white and grey oysters, chanterelles (my favorite), fall chantrells (my favorite), boletes, coral mushrooms (husband's favorite), lobster mushrooms (my favorite), rooted xerula, bear claw mushrooms (my favorite), black trumpets (my favorite), hedgehogs (my favorite -- the mushroom not the actor), hen & chicken & old man of the woods, are just a few of the mushrooms she's provided for our dinner plate. Ok, so I have a lot of favorite mushrooms. I love so many, it's hard to pick just one.

Anyway......

If this lady can find all those mushrooms on her back 40, why can't I find one good one on my front 1/10? Knowing that all mushrooms are not created equal, I decided to ask Mother Nature if these babies are edible before serving them up with a side of prime rib.

Northern Toothed Shelf Mushroom

Turns out I got a double whammy of bad news. She tells me that this fungus is not only inedible, it's a tree killer.

Oh man, what a drag!

The mycelia lives in the heartwood of the tree. The fungus can't be killed or successfully removed. While the tree may live for several years, it eventually will fall over dead; rotted from the inside out.

I should have known. Earlier this summer I had a large, dead limb removed. After closer inspection, the toothed shelf fungus is all over that tree, not just on the trunk. Another large upper branch is also dead.

Power lines run through this tree and it's only a few feet from the house. The way I figure it, it's better if the whole thing goes now, instead of waiting for a storm to blow it on to the tile roof.

No tree, no shade. No shade, no moss.

I spent the entire summer pulling grass out of the lawn. Now I have to go buy grass seed. And pay the tree guy....for the third time this year.

What a bummer. I really liked that tree.

Lawn Improvements Part 3 -- Getting There

Lawn Improvements Part 1 -- A Strange Idea Sprouts
Lawn Improvements Part 2 -- Cue the Violins
Lawn Improvements Part 4 -- Moss Lawn Foiled By Fungus

The moss lawn looks like shit. There are patches of dead grass, bare dirt and areas that were once fully weeded are sprouting new weeds. This summer has been so hot and dry, what little moss is there is an ugly shade of used baby diaper.


As they say, to clean out a closet you get a huge mess before it's done. Hopefully this rule applies to lawn projects. At least the neighbors haven't complained. They've been more supportive than I ever expected. Now and again they will stop over, praise my tenacity and remind me that "Rome wasn't built in a day."

The Roundup experiment, courtesy of the pesky shoulder devil, had mixed results. In order to protect the moss, I let the grass get quite long before spraying. Sadly, the strategy didn't work as well as anticipated. The top of the moss plants have turned an un-natural shade of yellow. The underside, however, is still green. I'm hoping it will recover by spring. If not, I will take it up and plant new. On the bight side, pulling the dead grass was a whole lot easier than pulling live grass. There is also far less re-growth with the Roundup treated area. I waited for the smell to disappear before going near it. That took about three weeks.



There is a patch by the driveway that still needs weeding. I expect to be done with that and ready to plant moss in about two weeks.

The sulfur has been working as anticipated. The pH dropped nearly a full point. Yippee!



As with all large projects, unexpected issues come up. With the guest room, it was the floor. With this, it's the spot by the sidewalk that's too sunny for moss to grow. Since leaving the grass was out of the question, I dug it all up by hand and installed another garden. Mom and a neighbor donated quite a few perennials to the cause and I put in some vegetable plants.


Walking to and from the garage to get garden tools started wearing the moss off. Moss can take some light foot traffic, but not the amount I was giving it. The original idea was to install a stone pathway. Considering everything else that had to be done this summer, I put that on the maybe next year list of things to do. I put in a mulch path instead.


Three years ago the first garden went in. I wanted to grow vegetables but the only spot on my property sunny enough was right by the front door. I didn't want a classic row-style vegetable garden. They're kind of ugly. So I got creative and made it an odd shape to match the roof line of the house, put in mulch pathways and planted flowers in with the vegetables.


It has never grown as well as it should. I finally broke down and ran several soil tests. The pH is screaming high and there is no nitrogen, potassium or phosphorus to speak of. The soil is so bad, it's amazing that anything grows at all. Good thing moss likes crummy soil. All it cares about is pH, shade and moisture.


Experts tell me that to fix the soil I need massive amounts of organic matter. So I've started doing what my Russian grandmother always did.....bury the kitchen garbage. Garbage as in vegetable scraps, eggs shells, coffee grounds, tea bags and that sort of thing. When this growing season is over, I will add sulfur to lower the pH and find some compost that hasn't come from a factory farm lagoon. I'm hoping that by the time the ground freezes, I will have enough organic matter in there to make a significant difference come spring. Mulching it with leaves for the winter should also help.

Now that I think about it, the front steps and patio could use some moss too.

Lawn Improvements Part 1 -- A Strange Idea Sprouts
Lawn Improvements Part 2 -- Cue the Violins

Lawn Improvements pt 2 -- Cue the Violins

Lawn Improvements Part 1 -- A Strange Idea Sprouts
Lawn Improvements Part 3 -- Getting There
Lawn Improvements Part 4 -- Moss Lawn Foiled By Fungus

There is a 300 square foot patch of front lawn that the utility company messed with when they installed a new gas meter. This spring, they put in new top soil and liberally sprayed a foam concoction of contractor grass. After laying bare for what seemed like forever, the grass finally sprouted. Since moss is what I want in there, I dug it all up.

Determined to get it right, I did some research on cultivating moss. The internet tells me that moss likes a soil pH of 5.5 with a level no higher than 6.0. If the level is above that, they say success is minimal. I borrowed Mom's soil kit. Choosing samples from different parts of the patch, I ran several tests. Every single sample came in at a screaming high 7.8. Yikes!

So much for the direct and easy route.

Getting on-line I found two effective ways to lower soil pH. There's the fast, toxic way and the slow organic way.

Option #1. Aluminum sulphate will instantly lower the pH of the soil. Problem is, the results are very temporary. It has to be re-applied often. Seeing that aluminum sulphate has been banned in many places for food production, I don't think it's a good idea to be spraying that stuff with frequency over that large an area. Spraying a hydrangea is one thing. Spraying a lawn is another.

Option #2. Sulfur is a naturally occurring element that will reduce the soil pH. It works with the bacteria in the soil and can take anywhere from 2 months to a full year to work. Quantity is somewhat of a mystery. It depends on the soil. Sandy soil takes a whole lot less than clay. What's in the lawn? Errr, I'm not so sure.

Using Best Guess methodology, I sprayed 5 pounds of sulfur on the surface, then lightly worked it into the soil to a depth of less than one inch. I'm hoping it's enough. The pH change doesn't have to go real deep as moss has no real root system. Moss puts out little anchors to lightly secure itself to the ground. These anchors serve no other purpose. Moss gets it's water and nutrients from the air.

They say to keep the area moist so the sulfur will work more quickly. So, I water the dirt. Meanwhile, like grey hair, grass keeps re-sprouting. For every one plant I pull, two new ones grow in its place. Ugh! That idiotic utility company grass just won't die.

Frustration sets in. What to do?

Shoulder Devil chimes in. "Get out the glycol-whatever-it-is week killer. That will do it," he says.

Shoulder Angel rebuts. "That stuff is banned in many cities because of run-off. It gets into the water supply and doesn't get filtered out."

"Think of the time savings. Go ahead. A little won't hurt anything. The neighbors use it."

"That's stupid. If everyone else is jumping off a cliff, are you going to jump too? Don't turn the lawn into a superfund site. You didn't use aluminum sulfate, don't use that stuff. "

"Look around, you've got grass growing back everywhere. Oh good grief, if it bothers you that much, put the jug in a paper bag so the neighbors don't see it."

"A paper bag? Don't be ridiculous. Boycott is the only way to show a corporate entity displeasure. Don't support that company."

"What are you going to do, pull grass every other day for the rest of your life? How do you expect moss to grow with that contractor grass choking it out. Unlike the aluminum sulphate, you only have to do it once. One time and it's done. Once...only once..."

The devil made me do it.

I also sprayed other small spots of the lawn that looked like they would be problem areas. Most of it was sprayed too lightly and the grass isn't all dead. That's just as well. I'm going to have to get on my hands and knees and dig out all that dead vegetation. It can't get composted either. It will have to go out in the trash.

It figures. The Devil didn't mention that part.

Lawn Improvements Part 1 -- A Strange Idea Sprouts
Lawn Improvements Part 3 -- Getting There

Lawn Improvements -- A Strange Idea Sprouts.

We live in a storybook house. Really. When we first moved in, neither of us had any idea what the house we bought was trying to be. Some said it was Arts & Crafts, others said Carpenter Gothic while someone else said it was Tudor. They were all wrong. Storybook is an architectural style popular in the 20's and forgotten by the 40's. It is a fairy tale style that was inspired by the budding industry called Hollywood. Hollywood; the kings of make believe.

Now that we know what this house is trying to be (a recent development) lawn inspiration has dawned.

Previously uninspired and lawn lazy, we've let it go for more than a decade. The lawn has more weeds than grass, nothing grows well under the massive maple trees and it's surrounded by out-of-control shrubbery that's at least a half-century old. The lawn needs help. It would be nice to hire some fancy firm that caters to the rich and famous. Ah, they would swoop in, work their magic and leave a perfect lawn behind in a few days. Alas, that's not to be. This "one corner at a time" make-over has to be done on a budget.

On the bright side, I did put in a whimsical garden three years ago that's a cross between Potager and Cottage styles. There are vegetables, herbs and flowers. (A post on that later) Now that this season's plants are all in, it's time to work on something that's been long neglected.

The front under the maple tree, opposite the garden.

Pretty bad.

Since this photo was taken early last fall, the utility company moved the gas meter twice and tore up the lawn both times. They supposedly fixed half the lawn early last fall. They came back this spring to fix what they didn't, and re-fix what didn't grow. It looks worse than the photo shows. The grass isn't growing well in that much shade and the weeds are thriving. I could call the utility company and bitch again, but new grass a third time isn't going to solve the problem.

I can't grow grass. We both hate mowing it. It never gets fed or weeded. I can't stand watering it.

Why fight Mother Nature?

Moss grows in the shade and requires little to no maintenance once established. It never needs mowing, fertilizing or watering. Or so Moss Acres says. Best of all, it looks like something straight out of a storybook. It will be perfect with this house. The one thing that grows in profusion in that spot is moss.

Aha! Brilliance strikes.

I went on-line and researched moss cultivation and killing grass. Most products and instructions kill moss and save grass. What little information I found was contradictory. Some say to use Roundup. That's bad. It will kill some mosses and spare others yet there is no information on which mosses die and which ones live. Besides, I don't want to turn my yard into a Superfund site. I won't even go into my moral issues with that company. That's a rant without end. Soooo....Roundup is out. Another way, is to lower the soil PH with sulfur. Sadly, that can take 6 months to kill the grass. No surprise, others say a low PH isn't a sure fire way to kill grass.

So much for a fast and easy way out.

Armed with a bucket, a whisk broom and an old steak knife, I attacked the lawn with enthusiasm. A bucket to dump the weeds, a steak knife to cut out tap roots and a whisk broom to sweep the moss clean of debris. No rake. Rakes pull up the moss. I find that sweeping the area before weeding is easier. I can see where the weed enters the moss without all that yard junk obfuscating the issue.

It takes me about one hour to weed two square feet of moss. The tedious way out is even more tedious than I initially thought. I'm not feeling all that brilliant any more. Heh.

Husband and I do, however, really like the way it looks. Guess there are two ways to look at this daunting task.

1. A pain in the ass chore that requires massive amounts of patience and fortitude.
2. The lawn will be there by the end of the summer anyway. It may as well look the way I want.
3. It's relaxing and a good way to get some meditation in. It's far less stressful than watching the news all day.

So #2 & #3 it is. Besides, pulling grass and weeds out of moss is a whole lot more enjoyable than peeling wallpaper off the walls.

To soften the squareness of the bushes, I clipped out many of the under branches and transplanted ferns underneath. Unfortunately, the ferns look sad right now. Digging them out from under the bush was not an easy task. Sadly, they got mangled in the process. Time and lots of water should fix the problem.








A spot where the moss has been freed from the weeds (top of photo). It's surprising how much moss is there. Now that it's unencumbered, it should grow nicely. I hope.

Work in progress under the maple tree.

A grand experiment. We will see how it goes......

Lawn Improvements Part 2 -- Cue the Violins
Lawn Improvements Part 3 -- Getting There
Lawn Improvements Part 4 -- Moss Lawn Foiled By Fungus

Alvin, Simon & Theodore...& John & Bob & Sue & Joan...

Gardening. Some years I'm a devotee and other years I could care less. This is year three on a devotee streak to organic growing. Now that I'm spending hours in the yard, I've been noticing things previously ignored. Things like how crappy the side of the garage still appears, and oh look, the cute little chipmunks are still living by the iris bed.

When I work out there they're unconcerned by my presence. They scamper about chasing one another in what seems like a game of tag. Sometimes they race across the porch and get dive bombed by the resident robin. Chipmunks. Cute little furry things that are endlessly amusing to watch.

Last year they dug up some onions, carted off a few hyacinth bulbs and munched freely on the tomatoes. All in all, the damage wasn't that bad. Besides, they're really cute.

Live and let live.

The other day, husband and I were out inspecting a small sink hole in the back yard when we saw them -- a brand new set of four, small, flat burrows. It appears that, in rodent social circles, we are considered chipmunk friendly landlords. Now there are two families of these adorable little critters foraging in the garden and digging tunnels around the house.

Hmmm...

How big is a chipmunk burrow anyway? According to this website, a burrow is an elaborate maze of tunnels ranging from 18-36 inches deep by 12-30 feet long. That much space for something that weighs three ounces? Wow. And we thought we were space hogs. Heh.

How many chipmunks could we end up with? I've only seen them two at a time and have no idea how many there are in total. After all, they all look alike. So I read a little more. Chipmunks breed twice a year (April & Aug) with a litter size of 2-9 (average 4-6).

Times two.

YIKES!

My garden isn't that big and that sink hole really needs to get filled in. Burrows can also facilitate water damage to house foundations. Oh my.

Be nice to the tenants and look what happens. They get out of hand. Soooo...

I went up to the local garden center and told them we have chipmunks. "I need an eviction notice, " I said.

He recommended a Havaheart trap and told me to drive them at least 5 miles away before letting them out. Otherwise, they would eventually find their way back.

Errr...

A 5 mile one way drive locked in the back of a car? Sounds more like a sheriff's eviction rather than a simple notice.

I really don't want to kill them (they're cute) and poison can have nasty consequences for the neighborhood's free roaming pets. I agreed to the trap and brought it home. It's baited with chunky almond butter and sits out by burrow #1.

Now, we wait...........

Update 5:30 pm:
Right after finishing the post, I checked the trap and found one very scared chipmunk peering at me from behind bars. He was caged and about to lose his home. I felt sorry for him. Poor thing.
click on image to enlarge
Husband came along for the ride. We drove across the river and up the hill into the woods. At the 5 mile mark, we stopped the car and let him out. He scampered into the field and out of sight.

Tomorrow morning I'll set the trap again. How many 10 mile rides (round trip) remain? We shall see.

Update: 2 days later
Yesterday I caught one very pissed off squirrel. He had a veritable hissy fit, stomping and growling in the cage. Heh.

This morning I caught another chipmunk. This one wasn't afraid or annoyed. It seemed used to me -- like a yard pet. When I let it out in the woods, I had to shake the cage to get him to come out. He scampered about a yard then turned and looked at me. Good bye cute little thing. Have a nice new life.

Update: 6 days later
Three more critters caught over the last few days, making a total of five. This is not the end as I've seen two additional little devils scampering across the iris bed.

The squirrels seem wise to the trap. They sniff it, circle it and stare at it, yet none go in.

Update:13 days later
The total tally so far is nine chipmunks (or shitmunks as Husband now calls them). It's a bit hard to tell, but it seems the tenants in the back yard have not yet been completely evicted. The rodent relocation program (RRP) is getting old.

Guest Room is Finally Done

After 27 days, the guest room is done.

Home Improvements Part One -- Deadlines

Part 2 Home Improvements -- Day 3

Part 3 Home Improvements -- Welcome to Hell

Part 4 Home Improvements -- Hell has Left the Building

Part 5 Home Improvements -- Creative Issues

Part 6 Home Improvements -- Woe is the Floor

Part 7 Home Improvements -- Floor Update

Home Improvements Part One -- Deadlines

Part 2 Home Improvements -- Day 3

Part 3 Home Improvements -- Welcome to Hell

Part 4 Home Improvements -- Hell has Left the Building

Part 5 Home Improvements -- Creative Issues

Part 6 Home Improvements -- Woe is the Floor
Part 7 Home Improvements -- Floor Update

Home Improvements -- Floor Update

I think houses are kind of like people. The older they get, the more set in their ways they become.

I got my hands on a belt sander and went after the floor. It wouldn't sand. So I went up to Lowes and picked up a gallon of multi-purpose stripper. That got the finish off and mom helped but it was very slow and tedious. When we were about a third finished with the stripping, I went after the bare wood with the belt sander. Wielding the thing rapidly became a challenge. The belt wouldn't stay on and the stains didn't come off.

I found myself seriously short of fortitude and totally overwhelmed.

Conceding defeat, I called a professional. Then I tore up the rug in the hallway. The dirt and grunge that was under that pad! It smelled bad and had an 1/8" of sandy grit under there. It was disgusting. I should have taken a picture of it but didn't think to get the camera until after I cleaned it up.

The snarky professional sanded the floor very well. The stains are virtually gone and so is the odor. The problem was with the finish. After 3 coats, I was expecting it to be smooth like a baby’s butt. Instead, it had a bad case of 5 o'clock shadow. Dirt was going to get stuck in those crevices and never come out. So I called him the next morning and announced my disappointment on his answering machine.

You know how contractors can be. Once they're paid, they usually hit the road never to return. Miracle of miracles, he came back and re-sanded and finished the floor. I give this guy credit for actually coming back first thing yesterday morning.

It's much better now although I think it should have another coat of finish. I know he won't come back again. On his way out the door yesterday, he told me I was mean. I'm not mean, I just expect a professional to do the same, if not better quality of work than I do. So it's on me to buy more varnish and do the work myself. At this point do I have the fortitude to sand and varnish? Do I want to spend the extra money on it? Am I just being picky?

We're seriously running out of time. I still have to wait for the floor to cure, quarter round to install in the guest room and hallway, furniture to move, a bed to pick up from the store, curtains to hang, closet junk to sort, art to hang, etc. I'm thinking a machine washable runner down the hall will be just fine.

Before

Despite the trials and tribulations, that floor looks so much better than it did before. It's a huge relief.

Same spot after

When the time comes for the next carpet to get ripped out, I’ll hire a professional to sand only. I’ll do the finishing. I’m better at it.

Home Improvements Part One -- Deadlines
Part 2 Home Improvements -- Day 3
Part 3 Home Improvements -- Welcome to Hell
Part 4 Home Improvements -- Hell has Left the Building
Part 5 Home Improvements -- Creative Issues
Part 6 Home Improvements -- Woe is the Floor
Part 8 Home Improvements -- Finally Done

Home Improvements -- Woe is The Floor

Recap: The painted wall paper is off the walls. The bare walls have been spackled, sanded, washed and given 2 coats of primer. The decorative 2 step process is done on the walls.

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The ceiling is now done. The clouds were quite easy to do with a "pouncer" brush. That's a 1.5" dome brush with natural bristles. I experimented with a 1" paint brush and artists brushes, and the pouncer by far gave me the best results with the least amount of effort.

I mainly used a swirling motion with an occasional "stabbing" motion to get the effect. The wispiness was done by circular and straight dry brushing. The worst part of it was the neck strain of working on the ceiling. A rolled up towel wrapped around my neck helped that issue quite a bit. Too bad I didn't figure that out untill the end.

Here's the room as it stands now.

The closet is quite small and closed in. Here's a before shot complete with unpainted wallpaper and blue rug. It so worked with the pink shag in the rest of the room -- NOT.

Since it's small and closed in, I removed some shelving that has never been used added sky to the upper part of the walls. This is what it looks like now.

The carpet pad is off the floor and the greatest room mystery has been solved. It's not pleasant. Those morons (previous owners) painted the wallpaper and splattered copious amounts of paint on the floor. They didn't bother cleaning it up before they installed the rug. The paint will not come off. There are stains of all sorts and colors along with thousands of holes from the staples and tacks holding down the carpet. It has an odor and decades of ground in dirt.

Isn't it lovely?

Today I'll start on refinishing the floor. And I was hoping all the guest room furniture and stuff would be out of the dining room by Thursday. No such luck.

On the bright side, the guest room will no longer be an embarrassing hell hole. The Z, and anyone else who comes to visit, will have a mighty fine place to sleep.

The deadline approaches.

Home Improvements Part One -- Deadlines
Part 2 Home Improvements -- Day 3
Part 3 Home Improvements -- Welcome to Hell
Part 4 Home Improvements -- Hell has Left the Building
Part 5 Home Improvements -- Creative Issues
Part 7 Home Improvements -- Floor Update
Part 8 Home Improvements -- Finally Done

Home Improvements - Creative Issues

For those who are still interested in the status of our guest room, here's an update.


The room with the light base coat. I figured with the white underneath, it would add to the final illusion of texture.

To help me determine how I was going to paint the trim and molding, I spent some time playing in various room color simulators. Benjamin Moore has one that allows for decorative types of painting so I spent much of my time there. While helpful, these things aren't always an accurate representation of how it will turn out.

According to the simulator, dark trim on the color washed walls looked great. Once in the room though, it looked pretty bad.

Light trim was better (next to the dark in the photo) but it still wasn't right.


So I got back up on the ladder, painted all the molding to lavender, then proceeded to color wash it the same as the walls.

This is what it looks like now.

Today I'll probably have the walls, trim and closet done with the color wash. Then I'll start on the ceiling. In a few days, we'll finally get a look at the floor. Hopefully, with that god awful carpet pad gone, the walls will stop clashing with the blue.

Home Improvements Part One -- Deadlines

Part 2 Home Improvements -- Day 3

Part 3 Home Improvements -- Welcome to Hell

Part 4 Home Improvements -- Hell has Left the Building

Part 6 Home Improvements -- Woe is the Floor
Part 7 Home Improvements -- Floor Update
Part 8 Home Improvements -- Finally Done

Home Improvements Day 10 -- Hell Has Left the Building

Progress report: The fugly paper has left the guest room to take up residence at the dump. Good riddance. The walls and the hole in the ceiling have been repaired.


Ok, I'm not the greatest spackeler there ever was. For what I'm going to do with it though, it should be fine.



At any rate, it beats a gaping hole by a long shot.



















Everything with two coats of primer.


















The destruction and prep phases are over so now it's on to the fun part. Last week while at the hardware store, I picked up some paint chips to think about color. Initially I decided on a neutral grey palate for accessory versatility. When I went back to buy the paint, of course I found some colors I liked much better than boring grey. That's one of the joys of creativity -- changing one's mind.
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The only glaze Lowes had was quart sized and I need a gallon. There was no way I was going to buy 4 of those over-priced quarts so we drove 30 miles to Home Depot. It seems to me those guys have everything.

I did 2 test boards for the wall color and texture. Both of these boards were equally primed. The left side has a light base coat with a dark glaze over top. The right side has a dark base coat with a light glaze over top. The paint used was exactly the same for both. The color difference is astounding.

We chose pattern 2 for the walls which is 4 parts glaze to 1 part dark paint over a light background.

The ceiling can't be boring, so here's test board for that.

This is what the room looks like right now. I'm going back in there today to start the walls.

As you can see, the carpet pad is still on the floor. I'm still hoping the wood is good.

Anyway, this is the latest progress report. Things are looking up.

Part 1 Home Improvements
Part 2 Home Improvements
Part 3 Home Improvements -- Welcome to Hell
Part 5 Home Improvements -- Creative Issues
Part 6 Home Improvements -- Woe is the Floor
Part 7 Home Improvements -- Floor Update
Part 8 Home Improvements -- Finally Done

Home Improvements -- Welcome to Hell

As promised, here are some photos of the wallpaper removal project.

I don't have any before pics with the room fully intact. The rug and remaining furniture disappeared, thanks to my husband and brother, before I remembered to get the camera.

This is the best before I've got.

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Fugly layers of paper.

Hell.

All that horrid paper is now gone. It took 2-1/2 twelve-hour days to make it so. Now I get to bag the mess and start washing walls. I'm glad I left the carpet pad down to protect the hardwood floor underneath. Scrubbing off old sticking paper from the floor would have been no fun at all. Once, is enough.

Home Improvements Part One -- Deadlines
Part 2 Home Improvements -- Day 3
Part 4 Home Improvements -- Hell has Left the Building
Part 5 Home Improvements -- Creative Issues
Part 6 Home Improvements -- Woe is the Floor
Part 7 Home Improvements -- Floor Update
Part 8 Home Improvements -- Finally Done

Home Improvements Day 3

When Mom and I installed vinyl wallpaper in the kitchen a decade or more ago, she absolutely insisted I size the walls. At the time, I didn't want to "waste the time". Well, now I'm glad I did. If I ever want to get it off, it should cooperate. The stuff I’m dealing with now…..stubborn, sticky, stinky pain in the ass……

This old wallboard has no primer underneath, no sizing, no paint, no nothing. This wallboard stuff is the predecessor to sheet rock. It looks like cardboard and my brother says that's exactly how it's made; layers of cardboard glued together. The good side of that is when I gouge the hell out of it trying to get off paper that's become one with it; I won't hit any sheet rock crumblies underneath.

Yes, the walls are rough and I don’t care. Decorative painting will use that feature to my advantage. That will take less time than trying to smooth out walls. Besides, rough walls are a feature of this house that I’ve accepted long ago.

I'm tired and it's only the start of day 3. My hand is swollen and every muscle aches. On a positive note, I'll be in better physical shape when this is done -- if I don't keel over first.

Day 2 now on the wallpaper steamer. Gee, I hope I get the paper off soon as that damn steamer is 20 bucks a day. It should be hot now. Time to go back to work.

When I get the paper off, I'll post photos.

P.S. Mom really did do 1/3 of a wall yesterday and her help is appreciated.

Home Improvements Part One -- Deadlines
Part 2 Home Improvements -- Day 3
Part 3 Home Improvements -- Welcome to Hell
Part 4 Home Improvements -- Hell has Left the Building
Part 5 Home Improvements -- Creative Issues
Part 6 Home Improvements -- Woe is the Floor

Part 7 Home Improvements -- Floor Update
Part 8 Home Improvements -- Finally Done

Home Improvements and Deadlines

"If it weren't for the last minute panic, nothing would ever get done." This was a favorite saying of a very old friend of mine. In one way or another, it's proving true in my world.

We have this guest room. I've been putting off redecorating it. Once a year or so, I'd go in there and take a good look around to consider a remodeling project. I would stare at the painted wallpaper, grumble like Lurch from the Addams Family then walk out of the room firmly shutting the door behind me. Needless to say, more than a decade has passed since we bought the house and the room has remained the same; pink shag carpet, water stains, peeling ceiling paint and wallpapered walls painted white.

Unused rooms have a way of collecting miscellaneous stuff that never makes it to the attic. We have a friend coming to visit in a few weeks. Hence, the deadline. Well, we cleaned out the stuff and took a good look at the room. Mon Dieu! Mama Mia! Oy Vey! Ay Chiwawa! The years haven't been kind to that room we keep shut up most of the time. The peeling ceiling has gotten worse and it's developed an odor.

For two days I stared at that room debating about the painted over wallpaper. I was trying to figure out an easy way around it. Paint the room in stripes to hide the wallpaper seams, decorative ragging, faux blocks of stone.... Maybe if the wallpaper seams were evenly spaced, I could have gotten away with the stripes. Alas, the spacing was varied around the entire room.

The way I see it we have two choices; deal with it or do the Lurch grumble and shut the door again. I've chosen to deal with it. And no, there isn't an easy way.

All the stuff, furniture and curtains is out of there. The pink shag carpet was ripped up yesterday morning and I've started on the walls. I left the carpet pad down to protect what I think is a hardwood floor underneath. With any luck it will be in good shape. If not, I'm gonna have to tackle the floor too.

I thought there was a layer of paint over a layer of paper over a layer of muslin. Well, that was only in one corner. In actuality there are 6 layers of paper topped off with not only paint, but in places there is plaster and wallboard tape. To make matters worse, the lowest layer of hideous green paper was pasted directly to the wall without sizing or paint. Vinegar water and scraping is proving infective.

I'm off to rent a wallpaper steamer.

On the bright side, a last minute panic can be good. When this is all over, our friend will have a nice place to sleep. I can also give up on my Lurch impersonation. It wasn't very good anyway.

Part 2 Home Improvements -- Day 3
Part 3 Home Improvements -- Welcome to Hell
Part 4 Home Improvements -- Hell has Left the Building
Part 5 Home Improvements -- Creative Issues
Part 6 Home Improvements -- Woe is the Floor

Part 7 Home Improvements -- Floor Update
Part 8 Home Improvements -- Finally Done